My Life Beside You
The first impression I gave wasn't the best. I was scared, filled with sorrow, and my missing hand ached. I stood before a stranger, a man who had personally taken down the Archbishop of Sloth.
And he had just saved my life.
He was someone with an unknown power. His aura told me he was more than just the warden of a village with great combat strength.
'Problems.' That's how I perceived him. That person would only bring trouble, problem after problem. The way he led, the confidence in his actions, it all seemed genuine.
That's the kind of person who always causes problems.
He knew about me, so I figured his information network must have been first-rate to know anything about a nobody like me.
I agreed to collaborate with him after seeing his attitude. After all, I am a merchant. I still had a lot to learn, but at that moment, I decided to bet on them.
I felt alone and broken, but seeing someone look at me like I was capable gave me hope to move forward.
The pay was good too, and it helped me pay off the oil debt.
"Otto Suwen, it's a pleasure to work here," I said confidently to Rem, maybe a bit too much.
Her first look was cold; she was analyzing me. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem, but I could feel an inner fear, like she was weighing whether I was an enemy or an ally.
I tried to say something, but her gaze shut my mouth.
Looking into her eyes for the first time made me freeze, made me feel like my life was in danger.
"I know he might seem unreliable, but I have full confidence in his abilities," Marco said, and Rem led me to another place.
The facilities were impressive for a village. I toured the military base, watching the soldiers operate after the war.
"These are the people who protect the village," Rem said, pointing, disheartened, sad, and lonely.
The mood after the battle with the cult wasn't good, and for a good reason. Many were injured, and people died, both in Irlam and outside the village.
I've always observed people from a distance, noticing how every person is a world of their own. After my observations, I reached one conclusion: eyes never lie. They can hide things, but they'll never fool someone who looks closely.
I kept watching her, and I heard a voice coming from a nearby tree.
"Alone, lonely," a bird in its nest said.
My divine blessing makes me a perfect source of information, but I don't like using it too much. I can only talk to them; they're not my servants.
'The face of a person doesn't always show what's in their heart.' My parents used to say that, and I already knew it well because I was a great liar.
Our first interaction was cold as ice, but little by little, that ice started to melt.
I still remember the first time I saw her laugh.
We were on a trip to the blacksmith. We needed to pick up the reports on the production of parts for the second version of the steam machine. It had been a few weeks since we met, as by then, we had already celebrated the victory against the whale.
Everything was so busy that we didn't have time for anything. We'd gone for several days barely sleeping, practically not at all.
I looked at Baltazar and extended my hand to thank him.
"Thank you for your great work!" I paused for a moment, realizing I extended my right arm.
I was so exhausted from work that I didn't even notice I extended the arm that had no hand.
"HAHAHAHA!" Baltazar didn't hesitate for a second to laugh, grabbing my arm as if my hand were still there. "It's always a pleasure having you around, hahaha!"
Everyone laughed, and it seemed so ridiculous that I started laughing too. I was stressed, and somehow, seeing everyone laugh made me laugh as well. When I turned to Rem, I saw her smile. She was covering it with her hand, but her eyes curved slightly, enjoying the moment.
'Beautiful,' was my first thought.
That was natural since Rem had always been praised as a beautiful young woman among all the townsfolk. After that incident, I felt like the wall of ice between us cracked a little. I, like an ant, slipped into the gaps to see the other side.
We started meeting outside of work, chatting, and wow, she was completely different from the person I was used to.
"I really like watching people walk by," she said, swinging her legs on a bench. Her cheerful gaze made it impossible for me to look away from her, and I hadn't even realized it back then. "Seeing how everyone lives their lives, noticing the clothes each one wears."
Then she turned to look at me, and I could only look away. She's younger than me, but her life had made her go through so much, helping us understand each other.
"You know?" She pointed to the construction workers. "All these people used to live hoping to get out of here, dreaming of a better future somewhere else. Others lost their dreams and hopes, resigning themselves to a peaceful life in a hidden village."
She stroked her hands, looking at the white clouds. Her hair reflected the sunlight, glowing as if magic flowed from her.
"I used to be the same, maybe not too long ago." She closed her eyes, and I saw her smile fade. "I didn't believe I deserved a life, but rather only a purpose. I based my life on fulfilling a purpose, while everything else was unnecessary. I'd even give my life, as to me, it wasn't worth anything."
I could hear the bitterness in her words, feel the pain inside her.
"A failure, indispensable. I thought I had to be used to doing something for others." A detached smile: her gaze was lost, and for a second, I felt like she was drifting to a dark place. "And I still think…"
I couldn't take it anymore.
"You're not!" I exclaimed, startling everyone around us. She looked at me, surprised, but in that moment, not even embarrassment would stop me. "You've worked hard all your life; you've always tried to move forward. You're responsible, charismatic, a little cold with strangers, but when you feel comfortable, you…"
"Stop!" blushing, she covered my mouth with her hands. I looked at her and realized that my emotions had surfaced.
Yes, they came out without me even realizing they existed.
"Sorry." I looked away, completely flushed with embarrassment. I thought I had upset her, but then I heard her laugh. She burst into laughter until tears nearly came out. She gently wiped her eyes and smiled again.
"Thanks, that really made me feel better." I was speechless for a second. She was fixing her hair—just a simple act, but I was utterly enchanted.
And then, the magic happened.
"I'm really happy now. Even though I have my moments, I feel comfortable with my life."
Her smile was genuine. The clouds cleared, letting the sun illuminate her, as if fate itself whispered a secret to me. It felt like the very heavens were telling me I had to protect that smile.
Her smile lit up with the sun, and I lit up with her smile.
Since then, we talked every day. I started learning about her likes and hobbies. Sometimes, I stayed with her in the mansion while she worked on garments; I'd read a book, and she would design clothes.
"Otto, what kind of clothes do you like the most?" She showed me her designs—some were so interesting and beautiful they left me amazed.
"The white one looks like a ceremonial dress. Is it for a wedding?" I asked, always trying to be objective to help her in her journey. "Though, I think it might be too hot to wear it around this time of year, don't you think?"
Once, curiosity got the better of me since I still didn't know where her love for clothes came from.
"So, how did you end up loving design and knitting?" It was an awkward question, honestly, more spontaneous than planned.
Rem thought for a few seconds as she kept working with the machine. The only sounds were the gears turning and the faint noise from the small steam engine. When she stopped, she looked out the window with a smile.
"Not that long ago." She picked up one of the garments she had made—a snow-white dress with purple embroidery and a scarf. "There was a time I was doing really bad. I felt lonely and sad. I couldn't feel comfortable with anyone, not even my sister. I was going through a rough patch emotionally, even though everything else was fine."
She carefully folded the dress, standing up and walking towards the window. When she opened it, I heard the birds outside, playing with each other like children at a park.
"My heart was broken and hurt, but I had made up my mind to change. I just didn't realize how hard it was going to be." The wind came in, causing her hair to flutter gracefully. "Slowly, I realized I had never done something I truly enjoyed." She sighed, looking at me with melancholy. "I would watch how Marco or Miss Emilia would talk so passionately about the things they loved. The sparkle in their eyes made me a little envious because I didn't know what that felt like."
She sighed again and smiled, as if remembering that pain had now turned into something joyful.
"One day, I was both frustrated and bored, so I started knitting to calm myself down."
Rem rummaged through her wardrobe and pulled out a pair of beautiful gloves. They were made from a soft fabric, warm and fluffy at the same time.
"After I made them, I noticed all the mistakes, so I wanted to make more, and then more." Rem looked at the machine, touching it gently. "Then I couldn't stop. I would watch people walking by, see how they wore their clothes, how they changed depending on their situation or the weather."
I saw her eyes—those eyes she once envied but didn't possess. She had always longed for them, and as fate would have it, by stopping her pursuit of others' sparkle, she found her own.
"Then, without even realizing it, I started thinking about different kinds of clothes. I asked Marco about the clothes from his world and how they wore them. He showed me designs and explained how fashion evolved." She intertwined her fingers, and her crystal-clear eyes completely captivated me. "I told myself, 'I want to be the one who creates that.'"
I remember them—her eyes so vividly that I could draw them with my eyes closed.
Sky blue, softened, brimming with emotion. Her eyes reflected her longing, radiating happiness and vibrating with excitement. Her gaze pierced me, and I felt like I was standing on a black rock, illuminated by the sun, reflecting off a clear blue lake.
Those eyes mesmerized me, captivated me, and left me at the mercy of the lake's waters.
We continued talking, keeping each other company and enjoying one another's presence.
Our conversations weren't always about work. Sometimes, a simple question would lead to hours of talking.
"So, as I was saying, there are different types of fabrics for each skin type..."
I also started sharing anecdotes from my own life, things that once hurt me deeply, things that caused me great stress. I was telling them as if they were nothing—because that's how I felt about them now.
"So then, he told me, 'If you make me travel to another city, I'll make you eat grass.'" Rem laughed along with me as I imitated my dragon's voice.
Sharing those stories, even though they had been incredibly stressful at the time, helped me see them differently. They had already passed, and now I was someone who had faced them. Little by little, word by word, gaze by gaze, I fell more and more in love.
"I think I'm in love, but I'm not sure." I looked at Marco as he poured me a glass of wine.
We had finished our work, so we decided to take a moment to relax. Marco had always given logical answers, sometimes too logical and cold. At the time, he was a man who lived for his purpose, and I liked to free him from those chains a bit.
Bound as he was, only alcohol could free him, even if just for a little while.
"Ha, every time you talk about Rem, your eyes light up like a ray of sunshine." Marco started laughing while I blushed. "There's nothing wrong with falling in love. Love only makes you stronger. If looking at her makes you feel strong and weak at the same time, then, my friend, you're in love."
Those words made me realize I was indeed in love with Rem. I felt strong, full of energy.
"Let's raise a toast to my lovestruck brother!" Marco exclaimed, and we clinked our glasses together.
I wanted to work harder. I wanted to be able to finish quickly so I could spend time with her.
Just as when I felt weak, I wanted to rest on her shoulder to feel strong again. I wanted to hold her and be by her side.
I had fallen in love before, but none of that compares to now.
I look at her, determined to help. The carriage is ready, so taking a little longer won't be a problem.
"Sure, no problem." She fixes her hair, and with just that, I feel like I'm looking at the most beautiful woman in the world, melting my heart and my fears.
Miss Emilia is beautiful, as are Miss Helena and Crusch. Pearl has an elegance that surpasses them all. Yet the person in front of me holds no rank.
I can't place her in first because she's already everything I want.
We walk to a free spot in the garden and sit on the grass. I gently run my hand over it, feeling its softness. How many times have we sat here, talking, sharing our sorrows and joys?
I look at the plants in the distance, and a memory pierces through me.
This was also the place where I was able to hold her hand for the first time.
It was nighttime, and I had left my room to get some water. When I went to the kitchen, I saw her; she looked a little down.
"Is something wrong?" I asked, and she just smiled back at me.
"I think I want to quit my job as a secretary." Rem's gaze was sad, and my heart ached at that moment.
Most of the time we spent together was because of work. I knew that Marco's idea was for me to take that role since he always wanted Rem to be free and live a peaceful life, away from all the problems.
Now that it was finally happening, I should have been really happy.
But at that moment, tears came.
"What did you want to talk about?" Rem's question brought me back to the present. My heart started pounding, but her concerned look quickly dissolved that fear.
Now, I had to face a similar situation.
The difference was that the Otto from back then and the Otto now were completely different.
"Rem, do you remember when I told you I would always help you?" I asked, and she immediately nodded, smiling softly.
She extended her arm, gazing toward the forest.
"I swear on the dragon!" Rem placed her hand firmly on her chest. "I, Otto Suw..."
"Don't say it!" I exclaimed instantly.
I tried to stop her, reaching out to cover her mouth, but she grabbed my hand. I couldn't overpower her, so my attempts were useless. A smile appeared in her eyes, a genuine, joyful smile.
"I swear that..." Rem's hand slipped, and we both tumbled onto the grass. "Hahaha!"
We started laughing, just laughing without thinking about anything else. My laughter came out on its own, and we both laughed together as we lay on the grass.
We stayed on our backs, laughing, and laughing.
Her hand touched mine, and then they intertwined.