Were my eyes deceiving me?
Like… was that really Fred in my DM?
I had to blink twice, refresh my app, and even clean my screen small.
I thought love had packed its bags and left me. I was already planning to marry book and become a coding babe in peace. But then, boom Fred, like a Nollywood actor returning from "abroad," appeared.
Turns out… Mr. Man didn't just disappear for vibes.
Fred's family relocated out of the country.
As in, relocation package, visa, airport, baggage claim kind of relocation.
And not just that…
Your boy joined the ARMY.
I was like, "Please, what in the Hannah Montana is going on here?!"
I was so shocked I had to sit down and sip water because my brain was buffering.
But I won't lie… I was exciteddd.
Fred came back, and this time, he was being EXTRA sweet. You know that kind of sweetness that's almost suspicious? Like, "Sir, are you a Yoruba demon in training or you actually like me?"
We started video calling every day. Morning, afternoon, night. Even midnight calls. At some point I forgot what sleep felt like.
My mom?
My mother nearly shattered my phone.
One evening she just stormed into my room like,
"Sophiee! Who are you always talking to?! Is it that boy again?!"
Me: "No mummy it's tech class…"
Meanwhile, Fred's blurry frozen face was on the screen smiling like a ghost with good intentions.
But like, can you blame me?
Fred's voice was giving deep, calm, premium boyfriend material.
Every time he said "Hello Sophiee" I'd just start smiling like person wey win giveaway.
So yes.
I was in love.
Or I think I was sha. I mean, what else do you call the feeling when someone's voice alone can reset your mood? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Then it happened.
It was January 1st, 2023.
New Year's Day.
People were shouting. Fireworks were banging. My neighbour's generator was doing background music.
And then I got the message:
"Will you be my girlfriend?"
Fred, please. Don't kill me with romance.
My heart? Kaboom.
My mouth? Wide open.
My brain? Scattering.
I dropped my phone. Picked it up. Dropped it again. I even checked if it was a prank.
I was SHOOKETH.
Of course I said yes.
I typed YES with full chest. Caps lock, exclamation marks, and love emojis. I was GONE. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ladies and gentlemen…
I had a boyfriend.
My first boyfriend.
And he was in the army.
Can your own love story ever? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I was walking around the house like one celebrity. I started wearing lip gloss to online classes. I'd see couples online and say "Pfft. Cute. But do your man wear uniform?"
But yeah… it was a long-distance relationship.
I know.
I KNOW.
What's an 18-year-old doing in a distance relationship?
Honestly? I was in love.
And extremely naïve.
But the relationship was sweet sha.
Video calls every day.
"I miss you" texts every 5 minutes.
Random "check your bank app" moments.
Screenshots. Pet names.
Me smiling like mumu during lessons because he sent "I'm proud of you, baby."
Even when I was supposed to be focused on my tech program, I was out here doing "baby what are you doing?" every two seconds.
Was it madness?
Absolutely.
Did I love it?
Every second of it.
I was living in a real-life love story.
But as you already know…
Where there is sweet, Nigerian love story there's always premium drama waiting.
Soooo…
While I was out here being a loyal babe to Fred (my soldier boyfriend, yes, please put some respect on that)😂😂, I was also attending this tech program.
I won't call the name sha—me I'm not using real names in this gist because I no want wahala abeg 🤣🤣🤣
And then I was still prepping for JAMB.
Imagine me, torn between loving Fred, writing code, and shouting "God abeg I must enter school this year!"
My brain was in three places at once.
Then out of NOWHERE…
Another fine boy appeared.
Like, God really said, "Let me test this girl's loyalty small."🤣🤣
Because tell me why I looked up one day and saw King (not real name please! King wherever you are, this story no concern you, abeg no come fight me oo! 😂🙏).
At first, I was a quiet babe in the tech class. Just sitting in my corner with my lip gloss and low self-esteem, pressing phone and minding my business.
Then one day… BOOM.
This boy just started showing me premium attention.
Walking me to the gate. Asking if I've eaten.
Bringing chocolates every day like say he was auditioning for one K-Drama 🤣🤣🤣
Tell me how I'm supposed to stay loyal with all this temptation, please?!
And yes ooo… I started catching feelings.
You can't bring fine boy, kind heart, AND chocolate to my table and expect me not to fall. Fear God!
Even my crush was confused like, "Babe, are you still with Fred or have you moved to Netflix rom-com?"
And now the part that shocked even me…
King was my first kiss.
Yeah.
It happened.
Let the girls scream in the back!!
I was floating in the air like "Wetin concern me with distance relationship when this one dey here with chocolate and real lips?" 🤣🤣🤣
But I had to come clean.
Because deep down I knew, I had just started a relationship with Fred and as soft girl as I was, I wasn't about to turn side chic in my own story.
No way. I no want make heaven gate bounce me.
No way. I no want make heaven gate bounce me.
So I told King everything, about Fred, the army life, the long distance, the sweet voice that makes me giggle like mumu.
And guess what?
King said, "It's fine. I understand."
HE UNDERSTOOD??!
I almost proposed right there with the last piece of chocolate 🤣🤣
But anyway sha, like all sweet things in Nigerian life, the story got cut short.
I got admission.
Big girl in uni things!
No more sweeping compound.
No more "Sophiee who is that boy on your phone by 9pm?!"
Me: "Nobody mummy, it's online tech class."
(My tech class that already ended 2 weeks ago.)
I packed my bags with joy in my soul. Mum, I still love you oo, but abeg no beat me after reading this 🤣🤣🤣
Now that I was in school, I had more time to focus on my long-distance soldier lover, Fred.
Ahhhhh…
But let me tell you something.
Just seven months in…
Fred started showing premium red flags.
Texting less.
Video calls turning into "I'm busy."
"I love you" started sounding like "Do what you like."
Fam… the heartbreak started downloading slowly like MTN on rainy day.
And if you think that's all…
Na lie!
Because the drama that entered next???
Even Nollywood cannot explain 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.
Stay tuned for episode 3:
You don't want to miss the breakfast that was served!
Hot. Fresh. Direct delivery to my heart.
#talesbysophiee