Kumiko Kikunaga.
A person I know very little about. However, I know very little about everyone in my school. But when it comes to others, I have a vague idea of who they are. Her existence is practically a mystery. A mystery I have no desire to solve. But my partner, Holmes, will force the answer to this mystery upon me.
"Kiyo, you know Kumi, right? I recall the two of you dated for a year," Olympia says.
Kumi—I mean Kumiko is wearing a face of disgust as if what Olympia said was the worst thing she's ever heard.
Rather than making a joke, I say: "I'm unfamiliar with Kumiko. You already know about my nonexistent social life. But I do know some people. But, Kumiko, your bodyguard is someone I know very little about."
"I'd argue she's as known in the school as me," Olympia replies.
Is she? If so, why do I know so little about her? I keep people at a distance, but I am knowledgeable about those I pass by every day.
"Hello, Kumiko. Nice to meet you," I say.
"..."
"Yo, Kumiko. It's a pleasure to become acquainted."
"..."
She's visibly annoyed. I'd understand why from my second try at a greeting, but I'm pretty sure I was respectful in my first try.
Stupidly, I go for a high five. She moves her head to avoid looking at me.
"Kumi," Olympia says, "remember what I said about being P-O-L-I-T-E? He just greeted you. Greet him back."
"The Tensei Hentai Shounen didn't give me his name. I have no idea what to refer to him by," Kumiko lets out.
"Clearly you have an idea what to call him. But, Kiyo, she's right. You need to give her your name. Just because you're known throughout the school doesn't mean that everyone knows you. How conceited…"
Tensei Hentai Shounen… Is that how I'm known in school…? Olympia, I better not find out that's what you refer to me as, too.
"Sorry, you're right. Salutations, Kumiko. My name's Kiyomi. Kiyomi Otonashi. It's a pleasure to meet you."
"..."
What did I do this time?
"Salu…tations… What a chum. Olympia, you are kind to the worst types of people."
I glance at Olympia and send her a telepathic message: Uh, Olympia? I don't know how to respond to you. Could you throw me a life jacket?
"Why are you whispering, Kiyo?" she exposes, purposefully loud.
"I was whispering to you so a certain someone doesn't hear what I have to say!"
"Olympia… I didn't know you were so kind to the mentally ill. You are the most humane human," Kumiko says.
"I'm not mentally ill!" Okay, maybe I am…
"Really? I'm a psychiatrist in training, and the only reason I approached you was for research. Aren't you some type of solipsist?"
"First of all: rude. Second of all, I am not a solipsist! What have I done to make you think that was the case?"
"You're lonely, too," mutters Kumiko under her breath.
I expected those words to come out of Olympia. Wait? "Too?" Kumiko is an oddball. She wasn't wrong about the lonely part. But she's off about the solipsist part… Why would she answer for Olympia, anyway? Why would she say "too?"
"You're next line will be: Why would she answer for Olympia, anyway? Bullseye? You don't need to answer that. Kumi is not only my bodyguard, but I'm lucky enough to be able to call her my best friend. We've known each other for practically our entire lives. We tell each other everything. Including my run-ins with the school's Tensei Hentai Shounen."
Kumiko nods in agreement. She has a cute smile on her face. Once she sees that I noticed her smiling, she wipes her face off and now has a stern expression.
"What the hell are you looking at, Tensei Hentai Shounen?" Kumiko snaps at me.
"Did I forget to introduce myself? My name is Kiyomi. K-I-Y-O-M-I. Kiyomi Otonashi. Friends can refer to me as Oto, though."
"I didn't know you were a homosexual. That explains a lot…"
"O-T-O! Oto!"
"Lapsus linguae."
"No, it wasn't."
"You are a latent homosexual."
"Wait, maybe it—That doesn't even rhyme! "
"It's not untrue?" They both wait with curiosity for me to answer.
"I am not a latent homosexual!"
"Ah, I didn't know you were open about your sexuality. I'd say I'm proud of you, but you creep me out."
Before I get a chance to respond—I mean deny Kumiko, Olympia jumps back in: "Kumi, Kiyo is a friend of mine. Not an acquaintance like most people in school. Friend. Just like you and me. We're nowhere near as close as you and I are, teehee, and with the brief time he and I've spent, I'd still go as far as to call him a friend. I don't know why, but I don't need to know. You already know I lack a brain, so I need to try extra hard to rationalize things, but not all things need to be rationalized. Even someone like me, who doesn't have a brain,n knows he's brought me happiness, regardless of whether it's been ephemeral. I'd like the two of you to bless me with happy times. Thank you for letting me be selfish. Please— let me ask for more."
Maybe she doesn't have a brain in her head, and I don't know how she's able to be so open in front of others, but I feel a sense of joy by hearing she calls me a friend. I'm glad she feels the same way I do. But, is it okay for me to be this happy? I've lived a life of seclusion practically up until now. Is it normal for someone who never really went out of their way to make friends to make them so easily, all of a sudden?
"Heterosexuals to Kiyomi," Kumiko says, surprisingly to me, "did you forget about us? Were you daydreaming about being in a Yaoi manga?"
"Of course not!" I retort.
"Ah, so you would rather fantasize about being in an anime. How ad nauseam," chimes Olympia.
"Will you two stop ganging up on me!? I'm barely able to handle Olympia, and now you've thrown Kumiko into the mix. I'm just glad Kagami isn't here."
Olympia seems puzzled by my mention of Kagami, as expectedly. However, Kumiko isn't wearing the same face. She looks shocked, surprised that I'd bring her up.
"We should be off now, Olympia. It's getting rather late," Kumiko abruptly brings up.
"Ah, I must've forgotten about the time. Sorry, I tend to lose track of time when I'm having fun. Well, we'd best be off. 'Til we meet again, Kiyo. Ciao ciao."
"Until our paths cross once more in the boundless sphere of fate." Kumiko turned to walk away quickly, but I barely caught a glimpse of her smile.
They leave without giving me a chance to say farewell. It is late, after all.
Something that I've learned from my brief encounters with others is that I'm capable of bringing a smile to others' faces.