My walk home was pleasant after the fun day I had. I didn't do much. All I did was talk— no wait—I was harassed by multiple people and played Minecraft with someone. That's all I did. And, oddly enough, this was one of the best days of my life. How much of a bore has my life been if today is one of my favorites?
I enter my home and don't greet anyone; I'm too burnt out. I don't feel bad about not greeting my parents, but I do feel sort of bad about not saying anything to my little sister. I hope she doesn't take it personally. I'll make it up to her soon.
I head straight to my room and flop right on top of my bed, belly first. After a long day, it feels like heaven getting to relax on my bed.
What should I do now?
Should I continue the game I played yesterday? After playing with Olympia for most of the day, I probably shouldn't.
Should I pick up a book and get to reading? I'm a little too tired to read right now, though.
Gah, interacting with others is incredibly draining.
Perhaps I should continue the visual novel I've been reading.
Olympia's voice echoed… There's a time and place for everything, but not now.
How am I being harassed in the sanctity of my home!?
I don't know what to do, so I'll just continue to lay my bed. I roll over on my back and I stare at my blank ceiling. I'm not too familiar with the different colors there are. Beige might be the most apt way to describe my ceiling.
It's odd. There's an infinite amount of colors, yet humans try to demarcate it by giving the varying colors a name. What would the world look like if I were able to perceive an infinite amount of colors? Wait—What would the world look like? Is that the correct question to ask? If it's a matter of me perceiving all the colors in existence, then should I have said my world?
All of the infinite colors exist in the world already, but the world requires me to exist for all of them to be perceived. But, the infinite colors would still exist even if I didn't right?
Take for example the tea I had this morning. I tend to add a lot of sweeteners, so my drink is rather sweet. Does the sweetness that I taste exist in the world or my world? What about the tea itself? Is it part of the world or my world?
The materials needed to produce the tea existed within the world, the external world, before I brewed it. But, the sense of sweetness from the tea derives from me. That taste wouldn't exist unless I existed. The sense only exists because of the subject. The sense is dependent on the subject. But what value does the subject have if it doesn't have a sense? It wouldn't make any sense.
My world, the internal world, is not necessary for the external world to exist. The internal world, however, is needed for the external world to be perceived. If I were to die tomorrow, the external world would still exist. If I were to have died yesterday, today, as insignificantly different as it may have been, would still have passed by. If I were to have never been born, the external world would continue to spin.
But then, what is a world consisting of other people?
For example—Olympia.
Before our paths crossed, she's lived a life I can't imagine. Countless people know of her existence. She's interacted with numerous people. But then, what about those people? And the people those people have interacted with, and so on.
There are as many worlds as there are people. Each person is their own world. In those worlds that are not mine, those worlds where I'm not being perceived.
Do I exist?
What if I lived on a planet whose only inhabitant was me?
Would I exist?
For something to exist, it must be able to be perceived; it must be able to be sensed.
If the world is that which I see, smell, taste, hear, and feel, then what is the world that other people experience?
The beautiful, genuine smile I see Olympia wear may look different in the eyes of Kumiko.
The iron smell of the blood gushing out of me smells different than what Kagami smells.
The sweetness of the tea I taste is different from what Olympia would taste.
The annoyed tone that I hear coming from Kumiko must sound different than what Olympia hears.
The soft, warm feeling that I feel when my arm brushes against Olympia (accidentally) must feel different from what she feels when we (accidentally) touch.
Is the world that only I experience the internal world? Is the world that everyone else experiences the external world?
How many worlds are there? Is there anything that makes them connected?
The world that Olympia experiences and the world that I experience. How different are they?
What does she see when she looks at me? What does she see when she stands in front of a mirror?
Wait—
What is she up to right now? I've been talking to myself for quite a while now. Should I see what she's up to? Is it too late to do so?
No—I'm too nervous to pick up. It's late, what time is it, anyway?
I check the time on my phone and notice that I got new messages:
Yo, Kiyo!
How are you? Thanks for hanging out with me today. We should hang out again, as soon as possible! How about tomorrow? I can show you this super secret place that Kumi and I are fond of. Only you, Kumi, and I will know of its existence. Promise me you won't tell anyone. Just kidding! You have no one to tell. If you're down, let me know. I'll send you more details once you accept (you better). Do me a favor, and continue to bring happiness to my life.
Sincerely yours,
Olympia Ventura
I send her an acceptance text as soon as I'm done reading the text.
Hm? What's this? She added an attachment. It's a picture of her face, she's smiling. I'll cherish this photo for a long time. I'm glad she feels comfortable with me. I hope to grow closer to Kumiko (or should I say close?). I'd like to consider Olympia's friends as my friends. Well, not all of them. She knows so many people!
Tomorrow seems to be a long day for me. But I don't mind.
I wish that these days could last forever and for all of eternity.