I don't know how to fix this.
Sarina won't even look at me, and when she does, it's like I'm a total stranger- like I'm someone else she never knew.
It hurts me more than I want to admit, but I can't just hide my feelings. I've spent so long pushing my feelings down, convincing myself that it was just a stupid crush, that it's just a phase, and I'll get it over with soon.
But now,every time he smiles at me, every time he chooses me, it feels real. It is real.
So why does it feel so wrong?
I tell myself, Sarina will get over it. That she will see I never meant to hurt her.. But the way she glares at me in the hallways, the way she slams her locker whenever I walk by. That says otherwise.
" You good?" I turn towards Roman, who's leaning against a locker next to mine. I force a smile, " yeah, I'm good, don't worry about it".
Roman's expression doesn't change, he's not buying it.
" Well it's… Sarina" I admit, I look down at my shoes, feeling embarrassed of what I just admitted. " I figured. You know, your not the only one who sees her glare at you" he chuckles, " So, why?" He questions, knitting his eyebrows together, like he wants to hear more.
" You see Roman, Sarina is mad about me and you" I say, " oh really? Why?" He asks.
I hesitate for a second, thinking on what I'm about to say, and then, I tell him everything I have been keeping to myself.
" You see, me and Sarina got into an argument.." I continue, head down in embarrassment, fidgeting my fingers as I try to find my words.
I explain it all to him, the fact Sarina liked him, our argument, and us.
Romans eyebrows just went up and down as I explained everything.
When I got done, I took a deep breath, as if I did something tiring. I look up, into Romans beautiful ocean blue eyes, that grew damp. I could see the sorrow and pity in his eyes, he felt at that very moment.
I instantly regretted everything I said to him. God Julianna, your such a duke head.
I didn't want him to feel bad for something he wasn't even at fault for. He looked down in sadness, with hands in his pockets.
I decide to break our silence. " Hey, I want you to know it's not your fault" I reassured, " in all honesty, it's between me and her, you really had no role in this, other than just existing" I said.
He raised his head up to look at me in the eyes, he slowly curved his lips into a sweet smile, that was contagious.
I smiled back at him in relief, knowing that I convinced him.
I turn my head towards the direction we are heading to, "vamos" I tilt my head to the side, gesturing him. He lets out a small, gentle laugh, which leaves my cheeks rosy red.
We eventually, link each others hands in the other,and walked down the hallway together, I lean my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes, embracing the moment.
I take a deep breath in, feeling relieved for knowing someone knows what's going on, that I don't got to keep everything trapped inside me no more, that I had Roman right beside me.
It gave me such immense comfort, I felt like I was being hugged by a fluffy cloud.