Peter's petrification finally wore off, bringing a wave of relief to the exhausted Saiki Kusuo.
"Something feels...off?" Peter frowned, as if he'd just woken up from a long sleep. A strange sense of disorientation washed over him.
He raised his hand, noticing the hairs on his arm standing on end. His spider-sense was tingling.
"Oh my God, something definitely happened. Kusuo, tell me everything!"
(Keep it down, don't yell in my room.)
Saiki Kusuo patiently recounted everything, though to avoid unnecessary complications, he only gave a brief overview of the party.
Peter, furious, lunged at Saiki Kusuo.
"You bastard! You made me miss my chance to impress Mr. Stark!"
(Is Stark all you care about?)
"Do you have any idea how long I've waited for this? Kusuo, do you want me to feed you Ripper (that cockroach)?"
(It's all your fault, to begin with. If you hadn't taken off my glasses, none of this would have happened!)
Peter, consumed by his missed opportunity, wasn't buying it. "Don't try to change the subject, Kusuo!"
After finally getting the endlessly chattering Peter to leave, Saiki Kusuo, in a painful sacrifice, had to offer up one of his beloved coffee jellies to shut him up.
The next day, Peter was immediately accosted by Ned as soon as he arrived at school. Ned's expression wasn't exactly cheerful, a clear indication of the previous night's events.
"What happened, man? You look like you got beat up."
"It's a long story. It was way worse than getting beat up; it nearly killed me. Thank goodness you left early, or you would have been stuck washing dishes with me."
Peter: "??" What the hell happened yesterday?
It turned out that the private room Mike had booked hadn't been paid for, and Ned, being the last one to leave, was forced to foot the bill. If the manager hadn't taken pity on him (thanks to Saiki's hypnosis) halfway through, he would have been stuck washing dishes at the karaoke place for a week.
Never mind, it's too embarrassing to even talk about.
Shaking his head to regain his composure, Ned gave Peter a suggestive nudge with his elbow.
"So, how did things go with Mary Jane? Did you two have a good night?"
"What Mary Jane?" Kusuo hadn't told him anything about that. What the heck did that kid do while wearing his face?
"Don't play dumb. I don't believe you just walked her home and nothing else happened."
[Ned's expression is really weird. Did Kusuo...did he do something to that girl named Mary Jane...? No way, he's that kind of person? Wait, he was using my face! I'm the one who'll get in trouble!]
(Stop your wild imagination. It's too loud this early in the morning!)
[Why didn't you tell me about this?!]
(Because there was no need!)
Peter and Saiki Kusuo started arguing in Peter's mind. Ned, noticing Peter's strange expression, called out to him.
"Hey, are you even listening to me?"
Peter was freaking out. [You, get over here and explain yourself.]
(I respectfully decline.) Saiki Kusuo flatly refused.
Ultimately, the one who clarified things for Ned and Peter was one of the parties involved: Mary Jane.
As she passed by Peter, her gaze unintentionally met his. The vibrant redhead, full of energy, made Peter's heart skip a beat, and he couldn't tear his eyes away.
However, Jane just gave him a rather unladylike eye-roll and walked away briskly.
"Crack."
It sounded like something had shattered. Ned looked around in confusion.
"What was that sound?"
Clutching his chest, Peter was in agony. "That was the sound of my heart breaking."
Ned, instantly understanding, put on a knowing expression and tried to comfort him, effectively rubbing salt in the wound. "It's okay, man. It's normal for a goddess-level girl to be out of your league. We'll go to a less fancy party next time and find someone else."
Peter: "..."
After the petrification incident, Saiki Kusuo enjoyed a few rare days of peace. Just as he was planning to spend a relaxing weekend at home, enjoying his coffee jelly, the unexpected happened.
On his way to school, he passed a small park. Since Thursday, a bespectacled, scholarly-looking middle-aged man had been sitting on the park's only bench.
He was an ordinary person, the type you'd lose in a crowd. However, when Saiki Kusuo heard his thoughts, he realized this guy was anything but ordinary.
[Thursday, sunny. The demon burst forth from my body and wrecked a whole street.]
Saiki Kusuo: "..."
(What is this, chuunibyou?) [Chuunibyou: a Japanese term for a teen with delusions of grandeur and imagined special powers.]
Saiki Kusuo ignored him and left.
That evening, during dinner, he saw a news report about a green monster suddenly appearing in a downtown area and causing widespread destruction.
A worried Saiki Kurumi spoke up, "Things have been feeling so unsettled lately. I hope that monster doesn't come to Queens. Dad and Kusuo, please be careful when you go out."
(Too late, Mom.)
The next day, Saiki Kusuo passed by the small park again. The bespectacled man was still sitting on the bench, his clothes now tattered.
[Friday, the demon still burst forth from my body and wrecked a business district.]
Saiki Kusuo: "..."
The third day...
(How could such a dangerous creature possibly survive until the third day?)
Saiki Kusuo made a rare call to Saiki Kusuke.
"Oh my, isn't this the street brawler Green Giant who starts fights at the drop of a hat? S.H.I.E.L.D. has been going crazy looking for Dr. Banner. I never expected him to be here, Kusuo."
"Don't be sarcastic, Kusuke. Get this troublesome guy out of here."
"Eh, I don't want to get involved with that dangerous behemoth. The Director sent Natasha, but until Natasha gets here, to prevent him from going on another rampage, take Banner home and keep an eye on him, Kusuo!"
"Are you kidding me? How can I possibly bring a ticking time bomb home? Do you want Mom and Dad to be in danger?"
"Indeed. If Mom got hurt, I might lose control and destroy the world. So, I bought Mom and Dad tickets to Dis-ney Land. They'll be out for two days. The house is safe. I'm counting on you to take care of Dr. Banner!"
"Hey, don't make decisions for me!" Saiki Kusuo, who didn't like being controlled, protested.
However, Saiki Kusuke, knowing his brother's personality inside and out, knew exactly what to say to force Saiki Kusuo's hand.
"If we leave him be, more people will be in danger."
"You saw the news; you know how dangerous this guy is. You're the only one who can stop him. I'm begging you, Kusuo."
"It's only for two days. As soon as Natasha returns from the Middle East, she'll take him away immediately."
With a few simple words, Saiki Kusuo was forced to agree.
"Let me be clear, I'm only giving you two days. If that Natasha person isn't here after two days, I'm going to provoke him and dump him on S.H.I.E.L.D.'s doorstep."
After ending the call with Saiki Kusuke, Saiki Kusuo went to the park to find Banner. When he mentioned S.H.I.E.L.D., Banner was surprisingly resistant.
"I'm sorry, even if they send a harmless kid to convince me, I won't give in. Also, my emotions aren't stable right now. Don't come near me, kid."
[Heh heh, this will scare him off. That's right, just stay away from me. Let me fend for myself.]
The once high-spirited genius doctor had been driven nearly mad by the monster inside him. His every thought was consumed by how to end his life.
(He seems like a surprisingly approachable person in his human form, if only he didn't start fights at the drop of a hat.)
"I can't agree to that, Dr. Banner. If I leave you alone, Queens will eventually be destroyed. So come with me. I can help you control your emotions."
"What can a kid like you do?!" Saiki Kusuo's bold claim angered Banner.
[What a joke, this brat. He's talking so casually, as if it's just an experiment.]
[Do you know how painful it is to suppress that demon every day, to control your temper, to live cautiously, as if walking on thin ice?!]
(In a way, our situations are similar, so I understand your pain very well.)
Saiki Kusuo empathetically patted Banner's increasingly bulging arm, but this unexpectedly triggered him completely.
"I told you not to touch me!"
Next, Saiki Kusuo had the fortunate experience of witnessing Banner, no, now he should be called the Hulk, stripping and throwing a tantrum.
The ear-splitting roar attracted the attention of the surrounding people. Upon realizing it was the monster that had been causing widespread destruction on TV recently, everyone screamed and fled.
(That Kusuke, he really brought me a troublesome problem. After this is over, I'm going to make him buy me a year's supply of coffee jelly.)
What concerned Saiki Kusuo was that he couldn't hear the Hulk's thoughts, even though he could hear Dr. Banner's. There were only three types of beings whose minds he couldn't read: insects, inanimate objects without thoughts, and Nendou – ahem – idiots. Clearly, the Hulk fell into the latter category.
He dodged the Hulk's fist and, standing on his shoulder, used his strength to push the entire behemoth down. To prevent him from destroying Queens, Saiki Kusuo had to use his two-person teleportation to take him to his private island.
This was where he tested his superpowers, and it wasn't monitored by any satellites. After setting the Hulk down, Saiki Kusuo flew into the air and watched the giant below wreak havoc on the island.
Since he could use his time-reversal ability to restore the island afterward, he'd just let this giant stay here until he calmed down.
Perhaps due to the lack of onlookers and armed police to provoke him, Banner quickly calmed down. He looked at the devastated island in a daze, his expression changing drastically.
[I lost control again. I'm so useless.]
[Sob, sob, sob, this looks even worse. The entire area has been leveled, not a single body left! Those idiots at S.H.I.E.L.D. are useless. Couldn't they have stopped him?]
[As expected, a piece of trash like him should just die!]
"Have you calmed down now?"
Saiki Kusuo brought over Saiki Kuniharu's clothes and handed them to Dr. Banner.
Under the doctor's increasingly wary gaze, he explained, "I promised someone I'd watch over you for two days. So, whether it's grief or suicide, please wait until after those two days!"
Dr. Banner finally noticed something unusual about Saiki Kusuo. He questioned sharply, "Who are you? And where is this?"
Dealing with a naturally suspicious genius required honesty, and it would also help build a relationship, making it easier for him to control the situation.
Saiki Kusuo revealed his identity to Banner.
"My name is Saiki Kusuo, and I'm a psychic!"
Banner: "...Psychic? Do you think this is a TV show?"