For a singleton like Peter, the beautiful weekend was still spent playing Spider-Man, swinging through every corner of New York, catching all sorts of criminals.
In his spare time, he'd gaze at news about Tony Stark with the starry-eyed admiration of a teenage girl. This was especially true now that he knew Stark was Iron Man; the high-tech gear that Stark possessed, something Peter couldn't afford in a lifetime, was his ultimate aspiration.
The day passed like this. After confirming that Aunt May had gone shopping with her friends and wouldn't be back to cook dinner, Peter decided to head over to the Saiki household to experience some motherly love.
"Ding-dong."
Peter rang the doorbell, but after waiting for a while, no one answered.
"Nobody home?" Peter peered inside, then turned to leave, disappointed.
However, just as he turned around, he sensed a gaze coming from the second floor of the Saiki house.
He looked back cautiously.
The window to Saiki Kusuo's room was wide open, the interior clearly visible, but there was no one there.
"Was it just my imagination?" Peter wondered, uncertain despite his powerful spider-sense. He then used his webs to close Saiki Kusuo's window.
"That Kusuo, even though the crime rate in Queens is pretty good under my watch, he shouldn't be so careless as to leave his window open."
Peter was unaware that his sudden action of closing the window nearly caught Saiki Kusuo's hand, who had been standing by the window in his transparent form, waiting for him to leave.
With lingering fear, Saiki Kusuo shook his hand and crouched down on the wooden floor.
(Spider-sense is a really troublesome ability. I feel bad for Peter, but there's already one problem in the house, I don't need him coming in and adding to the chaos.)
Saiki Kusuo's plan was well-calculated, but he'd forgotten about the ticking time bomb downstairs, especially since the guy had gone on another rampage an hour ago and been sent to the island by him, only to be brought back a few minutes ago. He'd just finished showering and was now strolling around the living room, wearing only ill-fitting boxer shorts and no shirt.
Hearing the doorbell, the emotionally unstable Banner opened the door.
Banner: "..."
Peter: "..."
Saiki Kusuo: "..."
(Crap.)
Peter let out a few screams. Realizing that this would attract attention, he disregarded any concerns about etiquette, burst into the Saiki house, dragging Banner in with him, and slammed the door shut.
He wrapped the suspicious-looking man in his webs and interrogated him, "Alright, who are you? Why are you in Kusuo's house?"
While questioning him, he scanned the surroundings.
[Okay, no bloodstains. It looks like the culprit hasn't committed the crime yet.]
(Why the sudden switch to detective mode?)
[No, this guy clearly just got out of the shower. He might have already committed the crime and even disposed of the body!]
[Where's Mom? Could it be that this person has already...]
(With me here, that's impossible. While I appreciate your concern, could you please stop overthinking and listen to Dr. Banner's explanation? And since when am I your mom?)
Confused by the sudden turn of events, Dr. Banner explained hesitantly, "No, I was invited here as a guest. I'm actually..."
"A guest who walks around someone else's living room in his underwear? Do you think I'll believe that?"
Seemingly realizing the flaws in his own explanation, Banner could only pray for Saiki Kusuo to come and explain. But the next moment, the Hulk inside him burst out uncontrollably, speaking in a menacing tone.
"I'll wear whatever the hell I want. What's it to you, punk?!"
Peter: "..."
[What the heck is this? Split personality?]
(This is getting ridiculous...)
Unable to tolerate it any longer, Saiki Kusuo appeared and interrupted the impending one-sided beatdown. After some explanation, Dr. Banner calmed down, and Peter retracted his webs and sat down obediently on the sofa.
"So, Dr. Banner is a temporary houseguest staying here. In two days, someone from S.H.I.E.L.D. will come and take him away. Wait, S.H.I.E.L.D.?! Kusuo, you know people from S.H.I.E.L.D.!"
Peter was so excited that he tried to grab Saiki Kusuo's collar, but Saiki, anticipating his move, dodged.
"Don't get so worked up. It's just that someone in my family has a connection with S.H.I.E.L.D. The thing inside Dr. Banner is too dangerous. Leaving him out in the open would put other people at risk."
Dr. Banner frowned disapprovingly at Saiki Kusuo's candid explanation. In his view, Peter was just an ordinary school student who shouldn't be involved in these dangerous matters.
Knowing his concerns, Saiki Kusuo pointed at Peter and explained, "Don't worry, Dr. Banner. Although Peter may not seem very reliable, he can keep a secret. And if you go berserk again, he can also help."
"That's right. After all, I'm the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, who rules Queens." Peter had already accepted the "friendly neighborhood" title and was proud of it.
"Spider-Man?" Dr. Banner repeated the name, feeling like he'd heard it somewhere before.
"That clumsy guy who always messes things up and makes things worse?"
Peter: "...Are you here to tear me down?"
The two were about to start arguing again.
The Hulk, unwilling to be left out, popped his head out. He spat on the ground disrespectfully and provoked Peter, "What? You wanna fight?"
Peter, rolling up his sleeves, responded fearlessly, "Bring it on! Who's afraid of who?!"
"Enough! If you keep arguing, I'll throw you both onto the island." Saiki Kusuo impatiently interrupted the two, who were acting like kindergarteners fighting over who would be the leader.
Having been thrown onto the island twice in just one day, Banner was quite wary of Saiki Kusuo. Especially when he saw the devastated island instantly restored to its original state, he felt that the seemingly unassuming Saiki Kusuo was even more terrifying than the Hulk.
Warned, he immediately controlled his emotions and shrank back to the side.
Having dealt with one, Saiki Kusuo turned his attention to Peter.
"What are you doing here?"
"Free food," Peter said matter-of-factly.
"Mom went on vacation for two days. She's not home."
The implication was that he should get lost, but Peter unexpectedly pulled out his phone.
"That's okay. We can order takeout."
"If you want takeout, go home and..."
"Oh, right, there's a newly opened Japanese dessert shop. They have coffee jelly. Do you want to try it?"
Peter, who had been thoroughly briefed on Saiki Kusuo's preferences by Saiki Kurumi, smiled.
After a few seconds of silence, Saiki Kusuo gave in, his resolve crumbling.
"Two servings."
A psychic, a friendly neighborhood hero, and a green giant sitting around a dining table eating pizza made for an incredibly bizarre scene.
Neither Saiki Kusuo nor Banner were talkative, so Peter, being the only chatterbox among the three, couldn't stand the increasingly awkward atmosphere and spoke up.
"So, Dr. Banner, what do you do?"
(Classic case of making small talk.)
Before Dr. Banner could respond, both Peter and Saiki Kusuo's expressions suddenly turned serious.
Noticing the change in atmosphere, Banner asked, "What happened?"
Peter didn't answer him, but looked at Saiki Kusuo.
"Kusuo, can you confirm how many people are outside?"
"About seven. Be careful."
Peter pointed at Banner. "Are they after him?"
"Probably."
There were others besides S.H.I.E.L.D. who were interested in the monster inside Banner, but S.H.I.E.L.D. had dealt with most of those seeking to cause trouble for Banner. However, in recent days, S.H.I.E.L.D. seemed to be searching for something called the Tesseract, leaving them with no time to spare for Banner. This made those guys eager to make a move again.
Knowing that he was the source of the trouble, Banner rolled up his sleeves and stood up. "So, is there anything I can do?"
Although they were seven well-trained thugs, Saiki Kusuo didn't take them seriously. He reached out his hand towards Banner.
"Their target is you, Dr. Banner. For your safety, I need to send you to the island."
Unexpectedly, the usually obedient Banner refused Saiki Kusuo's suggestion. "Don't underestimate me, Saiki. I may not be as strong as the Hulk, but I can still protect myself."
Banner sounded so righteous, but inside, he was a timid little princess.
[I'll never tell him that I'm afraid of the dark!]
(...Do whatever makes you happy.)
Hearing this, Saiki Kusuo didn't insist. Peter had already changed into his suit and flown out.
Saiki Kusuo reported the thugs' positions and situation to him.
"Be careful, Peter. Those guys are armed."
The agile Peter had already taken down one thug. "Don't worry, this is nothing. Whoa, almost got hit!"
Dodging a thug who tried to ambush him, Peter used his webs to knock the thug's weapon away, then followed up with a powerful headbutt. While the thug was disoriented, he used his webs to tie two of the thugs together.
The thug who hadn't fainted was unyielding and tried to shout to alert his companions, but Peter promptly shut him up.
"Quiet down, buddy," Peter warned. The thug continued to mumble, so he gave him another punch.
"Fine, I'll feel better if you're unconscious."
Just as he was about to deal with the remaining few, he looked up and saw that two stragglers had already slipped into the living room.
"Kusuo, two got inside."
"Don't worry, I'll handle it." Saiki Kusuo finished speaking and turned to Banner, instructing, "Stay close to me, Dr. Banner."
Perhaps it was because Peter and Saiki Kusuo seemed so reliable, Banner was no longer as nervous as before. He even joked,
"Don't worry, I won't leave your side, not even in death." He paused, then couldn't resist asking Saiki Kusuo, "Are you sure you don't need my help? I spent some time in refugee camps. I'm pretty good with my hands."
"If you don't want me to send you to the island, it's best to control your emotions, Dr. Banner."
Banner reluctantly shut his mouth.
The two downstairs quickly made their way to the second floor. Just as they were about to kick open Saiki Kusuo's room, the taller thug suddenly attacked his companion, kicking him hard in the stomach.
"Ugh!"
His companion was sent flying, losing his grip on his weapon, which fell to the ground floor. It took him a while to recover. He looked up at the bewildered perpetrator and furiously demanded,
"Andrew, what the hell are you doing?!"
The tall guy, called Andrew, hurriedly explained, "I'm sorry, Ron, I couldn't control my... Ah!"
Andrew's body suddenly moved on its own, and he then picked up the smaller Ron.
"Damn it, Andrew, put me down!"
Not caring whether his shouts would alert their target, the struggling Ron, now being carried on Andrew's shoulder, was furious. Then, Andrew threw him downstairs.
Dazed and disoriented, Ron struggled to open his eyes and saw his dropped weapon. Enraged, he picked up the weapon and aimed it at Andrew, who was rushing downstairs.
"Die, you son of a bitch!"
Just as a scene of self-destruction was about to unfold, Peter, having dealt with everyone outside, suddenly interrupted their confrontation. He punched each of them, knocking them out cold.