In our lives, we've always come to a point where everything seems to be different from the way it would be, the way it should be, and the way it could be.
And quite honestly, we sometimes don't know what we came for because we end up in a state of never coming back to that path.
Look out your window; what do you see? Scenery? Look closer. Ugh, you can't.
It's the glass. We never notice it at first, always so transparent like the things happening around us. Simply there to serve as a substitution as a wall, at least as how we see it.
And yet, it stays there, a quiet reminder of something standing amidst our lives that we never seem to care about.
It shines our beliefs, our personalities, our thresholds, and our view of the world around us. And from time to time, it shows a guiding light for us to follow, for our paths to intertwine with others for the happiness of ourselves.
Until.. it breaks.
You see these cracks? It means that your glass once held up against life's pressure all along. You've been enduring, oh-so vividly, yet you became careless and let it be.
It's hard to overlook problems around us as meaningless noise because it fogs up that glass; it pressures us at every day's end, and you expect to see beyond all of it?
What do you feel then? Broken? Disheartened? There's more to it than that.
When glass breaks apart, it shatters into a million undecisive pieces in every direction, not knowing what harm it could cause to others.
It becomes clear, completely obvious to the naked eye, as these shards of hope scatter across your beliefs that you once thought held on.
Your everything that you see in this world becomes a living constant of what it meant to see in the past, due to your inability to wipe that glass.
Because you became so broken, you lost sight of the scenery you adored in life, but I guess that much is a lie, isn't it?
Your window no longer shines the same as it did before, maybe a little different, hmm? It all becomes so unclear of what to do if the very thing you see through, breaks.
And yet, you act as if it doesn't bother you at all.
Do you really think you can go on with the rest of your life, carrying these shards, trying to keep it together for as long as you act it?
Silently hoping that it would reconstruct itself from the down, up?
What a pipe dream.
You yourself know this as much as anyone would, it's just the unacceptance of saying that this was your fault for not thinking of the drawbacks of it all.
And now you continue living your life with that doubt, with that glass, with that window, with your beliefs, seeing it all the same, never really the same.
That goes on for everyone around us, every little thing that comes in contact with the likes of you.
The air felt heavy, the sky a deep orange, as Kayn stood there without a thought other than his ignorance of his co-workers.
He didn't understand why they'd ignore him. He treated them right and tried to care for them, befriend them, and be part of something. Or so what he thought.
"Wait.. maybe that was just a fluke, a mistake! There's no other way.. wouldn't it?"
He talked with himself, trying to convince himself that his actions weren't in vain. But standing there like he was completely lost, he didn't know what to do next.
He wanted to argue that his co-workers were better than this, but the day was already too low for him to go any further than he should.
Reluctantly, he crouched down to grab his phone, shards of glass scraping his fingers.
He brushed it off like it wasn't anything to pay attention to, but what was left is what remains.
Clutching his phone, he put it away and began to walk once again. The night was already upon him, and all he wanted now was to go home.
In times like this, he'd always feel relieved that the day was over, but because of what just happened, he couldn't help but feel in denial.
Each step he took felt like a reminder of the same path he always had, unchanging despite the passing of time. And he thought it was supposed to be like that.
I guess the world isn't like that.
The sun fell, and the stars drifted upwards, the moonlight of above wandering and shining over Kayn. Even if light was evident in the vision you see, is it really the same light others choose to take?
And just like that, the day ended, and so did something else. Kayn's trust.
When he got home, it didn't feel the same anymore. His feelings that had welled up after all this time got to him as he sat down on his couch, contemplating something.
"That's right, it just takes time. Everything does, and I need to be patient. They won't accept me right away, but I can still be kind."
Is what he told himself, still believing in that lie for who knows how long.
Kayn won't budge his beliefs, his view, nor his normality until something shows him otherwise.
He continues to think that people will give him a chance, that they'd understand the hardships of others if he's persistent enough.
If he just withstands this situation, goodness will follow.
To say the least, the next day came.
Just like any other day, he went on and did his routine, getting ready to head off to work yet again.
This time though, things felt different, almost as if a part of this morning was missing.
He couldn't put a finger on it, but it was severely disturbing him.
He was feeling down, hearing the water boil from the distance.
"That's my coffee."
This was his daily life, like any other person at his age. Working every single day. At least he has a decent salary, but that isn't the point of this.
People nowadays have their own things that distract them from this boring reality. Games, anime, shows, hobbies, people, and whatever fits the bill of satisfaction.
But you know, sometimes reality can hit people in ways you don't expect.
The bitter taste of coffee left a tingling mark on him. It was not that he didn't like the coffee, but it reminded him of yesterday.
It was a mere hung-up call, but that alone was enough to tell him that things weren't the way he believed them to be.
Looking out his window, the sun was shining over the horizon, another sunrise that encompassed the bafflement of his eyes.
And yet, it wasn't the same anymore.
Kayn got himself together, gathering his courage up to his eyes, looking forward for another day. Or so he tried.
Putting his coffee down, he realized it was time to go.
As he opened the door, the light came over his eyes, still not used to the flash of sunlight every day. But he went on his way, for he needed to get to work.
Taking the same road he had always walked upon for as long as he could remember, Kayn never felt so impacted before. It left like something in his heart broke in a way he couldn't describe without feeling miserable.
Walking on and on, the noises around him didn't bother him as much as he thought they would, too focused on his silent thoughts for him to even care about it.
Before he even noticed, his feet had carried him to the vicinity of his office building. The sight of it made him reconsider, its glass panels reflecting a world that no longer felt real.
The reflection showing him someone he didn't know could look so devastated. He remembered those times when he used to greet the security here, always smiling at them. That's no more.
For a moment, he just stood there, staring. Hesitating.
He used to walk this path with a sense of purpose, a sense of pride. Having believed that the people behind those doors were worth anything. But now, it didn't seem like it anymore.
He stood there, not moving an inch, as the world around him was always changing and changing. But never towards something better.
This was his second home, an extension of himself and others. Well, it was supposed to be at least.
A small, yet lasting thought lingered in his mind.
Would they even notice if he disappeared?
He knew that thought was beyond him, but simply thinking about it never felt so agreeable.
His hands clenched at his sides, the phantom weight of his phone lingering in his palm, as if the call from last night still echoed back at him.
That single beep was a quiet rejection, a reminder that maybe, just maybe, the world didn't care as much as he thought it did.
And honestly? As how things have been, he wouldn't be surprised if that really were the case.
The air felt heavier now, the entrance ahead suddenly too far, too cold. He wondered if stepping inside would change anything.
Or if he was just walking into another empty room.
It wasn't supposed to be like this; he could've done so much more to help, but the world had odds that weren't even fair.
He kept thinking about it, of how upset he became over his disbelief of this world.
Almost as if he wanted to change it altogether.