As Mother stepped forward, the entire kitchen shifted and tilted in Tobey's eyes.
—Creeeak— The cabinets groaned as if the entire room were alive. Plates rattled. The fridge door swung open with a hollow thud, and chairs scraped against the floor like unseen hands were moving them.
The walls stretched, the floor seemed to bend, and the air grew heavy. The kitchen was no longer just a kitchen—it was a monster's lair.
Right before his eyes, his mother transformed into something out of a nightmare. Her once perfect curly hair turned wild and unkempt. Her clean clothes darkened, stained with an eerie grime. Her glowing red eyes burned with unholy fury, locked onto him like a predator about to strike.
Tobey, frozen in terror, crouched under the table. His breath hitched. His mind raced.
What had he done to deserve this? Was this his ticket straight to heaven?
[Mother, as she walks past the table]
"Where are you? Do you want to play hide and seek? — Heheheee…"
[Tobey, in his mind]
"Oh Lord, show some mercy on this poor soul."
Oh man! This child… How does he even know such words?
Anyway, as he prayed for divine intervention, his mother continued searching, opening kitchen racks and cabinets. Then, her eyes landed on a pair of tiny legs sticking out from under the table. A wicked grin spread across her face as she let out a low chuckle.
[Mother]
"You really think you can hide your presence under the table? You can run, but you can't hide from me. Come here, you little brat!"
[Tobey, whispering to his pocket]
"Mister Cockroach, you stay here now."
Oh crap. His mother found him. Now what?
Option one: Run out of the kitchen. Option two: Hand over the cockroach like a responsible child.
He crawled out from under the table. Yes, good choice, Tobey. Now, go ahead, hand over the cockroach to your mother—
Wait… why did he stop?
His mother's eyes locked onto him, sensing hesitation. The moment he turned slightly, she lunged forward.
And what did Tobey do?
Ohh—HE KICKED THE FREAKING CHAIR AND RAN!
The chair toppled over. His mother, mid-sprint, didn't stop in time— THUD! Down she went.
Haha! Poor soul? My ass. The mother is the poorest soul here.
Now, only God knows what will happen to this little devil. He might even see John Cena—who knows?
Welp, I'm grabbing some popcorn.
[Mother, groaning]
"Is he really my child? How did that little man learn military-grade tactics? Aaa—my back hurts…"
She slowly sat up, rubbing her back, her eyes burning with vengeance.
"I think today, someone will taste the bitterness of my love. This child shall know pain. A mighty run!"
[Tobey, in his mind]
"I dug my own grave. What should I do? Oh yes—let's do this again! First, I'll run out the front door, then sneak back in through the back door, and finally—hide under the kitchen table."
Yes, what do you expect from a 5-year-old?
Here we go again.
Mother saw Tobey running out the front door and bolted after him.
Knowing Tobey, I have a feeling one more disaster is about to happen.
She got closer… closer… almost within reach…
SLAM!
*Without realizing, Tobey slammed the freaking door in his mother's face. *
Poor Mother.
I hate you, Tobey, for this.
Tobey took a sharp turn and raced back to where it all started. He made some noise in the kitchen—loud enough for his mother to hear.
And just like that…
Mother turned around and stormed back into the kitchen.
Now, you're probably wondering—what was that noise? Well, you're about to find out in a few seconds.
As Mother marched forward, rubbing her face from the earlier door slam incident, another calamity struck.
And what was it?
She tripped—
—BAM!—A heavy crash echoed through the kitchen as she hit the floor hard, the impact rattling the nearby cabinets.
—again.
By what, you ask? A rope trap, set up by none other than Tobey the Menace. Where did he find the rope? Backyard, obviously.
Tobey watched as his mother hit the floor for the second time that day.
Finally, he thought he could escape to his room. But just as he tried to walk past her—
A firm grip locked around his ankle.
[Tobey]
"Sorry, Mom… this is for science."
He reached into his pocket, pulling out the sock he had picked up while going outside earlier.
*And then—without hesitation—he shoved it straight into his mother's face. *
—Gasp! —A sharp, dramatic inhale left her lips, followed by a weak, pitiful groan as her body stiffened.
[Mother, barely conscious]
"I… I should have just gone to the park…"
—Thump…—Her body went limp as she collapsed, the soft thud of defeat sealing her fate.
Mother stopped moving.
…Did she just faint?
Rest in peace, Tobey's mother.
[Tobey, pressing his hands together like a prayer]
"Rest in peace, Mom. This is for science. Now by mom.... to cut the cockroach"
After the boss battle against his mom, he goes to his room. To dissecting the cockroach.
Letter in the evening....
[Father](staring at Mother's face, struggling to hold in his laugh)
"Honey, what happened to your beautiful face?"
[Mother](deadpan expression)
"Nothing… just had a battle against your son."
[Father](clearing his throat, trying to stay serious)
"Oh my—what he did is awful! Why didn't you scold him?"
[Mother](crossing her arms, sighing)
"We live in a nation where scolding is illegal."