- Felix," I say in a stifled voice, looking at him with disbelief in my eyes. My heart beats restlessly fast as we stand still and look into each other's eyes. - What are you doing here? - This is the only sentence that comes to mind. I can't say anything else right now, after all, I don't know how to talk to him after all that has happened.
What concerns me is that he is in Los Angeles, right in front of me, when just a few days ago he took care of me in an inebriated state in a New York club.
Is it possible that he ... is following me?
- I'm sorry if I startled you. It was not my intention," he says, looking somewhere behind me.
Does he mean that I was followed by him on my way through the park? How is that possible? Someone was clearly following me, and yet I fell right into Felix's arms...
- What are you talking about? - I ask, and then he shifts his gaze to my face.
- Never mind," he replies, putting his hand in his black hair. He runs his fingers through it, and I can't take my eyes off him.
I am no longer a teenager, I am no longer his girlfriend, but I still have a weakness for him. I know I shouldn't because of the past, because of what I've been through, but the heart doesn't cooperate with reason, most of the time.
- Can I take a moment of your time, Selena? Can we talk?
I tentatively nod in response. We sit down on the nearest bench. I'm as nervous as I was during our first date. I squeeze my hands together, nervously playing with my fingers, while he sits hunched over, his hands resting on his knees. His head is lowered, and he is looking at the ground.
This is an awkward meeting. I'm thinking about how I should start the topic to break out of this awkward silence.
- Is it true that we met at a club in New York?
He lifts his head and looks at me obliquely.
- Don't you remember? - When I shake my head, he adds - I'm not surprised at all, because you barely made contact.
- What were you doing there, Felix? What was going on with you? How did you leave ... - at this point, I'm biting my tongue. I don't know why. Maybe I would rather not offend him?
- Variation? - he finishes for me, forcing a smile. - I left this place thanks to someone who took me to New York to start a new life away from Los Angeles.
- Are you talking about Hero?
I can see that his gaze becomes restless as he moves it to me.
- Did you meet him? When? - he asks in a nervous voice.
- Possibly I'm exaggerating, but he tried to hurt me in New York during the races. Did he already know then who I was? Was it because of you? Did he want to get revenge that you suffered so much because of me? - He looks at me with frightened eyes the whole time. - Who is he? Someone warned me that I should watch out for him because he is dangerous.
- No worries, Selena. Nothing will happen to you. I won't let anyone hurt you.
- Is that why you came back? Did you know I was in danger?
He closes his eyelids.
- I'm sorry to have brought you trouble again. I promise to clarify it. Lucas, he will never come near you again.
- Lucas? Who is he, Felix? He doesn't look like an ordinary guy.
- He is my family. I owe a lot to him, besides.... now I only have him," he says with pain in his voice.
It doesn't sound sincere. Felix looks like he regrets that this man came into his life.
- Is it not the case that you simply have to weave by his side in gratitude?
The man tightens his lips, pushing his hair back.
- After so many years, we're not close enough for me to tell you everything," he says through his teeth, and clobbers me.
- I'm sorry," I pout vaguely, then get up from the bench. - It's getting really late, I'm going to go home now.
- Let me walk you out. I'll be calmer," he says, following me.
For a moment, I wonder if I want him to accompany me, but eventually, I nod in agreement and let him.
- I apologize for my response there. I didn't mean to offend you.
- It's okay, I'm fine. You're right. Now I'm not the person who should know everything about you.
- It just hurts me how long our separation was. There wasn't a day when I didn't miss you," he says, and I can see tears in his eyes. - I recovered from the treatment for a very long time. After the pills they loaded in me, I was not myself. I was living in a different world.
- I know, at the beginning of your treatment, I often visited you, but you didn't know who I was. I understand what you mean.
Felix looks at me in silence. His hands are tucked in the pockets of his black jeans, matching my stride.
- I apologize for all the pain you experienced because of me in your teenage years. I ruined your youth.
I stop in mid-step, and he turns around, looking at me with surprised eyes when he notices that I tighten my lips in anger.
- How can you say something like that, Felix! - I have no control over my emotions, as I feel tears coming to my eyes. - You were the best thing in my teenage life. I loved you beyond life, even though I suffered many times. You don't even know how much I cried and missed when I realized that I had finally lost you. I was lost in my life, I wasn't able to love anyone because I kept thinking about you! - I throw out of my mind, and he comes up to me and embraces me tightly, burying his face in my loose hair. - Although I realized how toxic our relationship was, I never changed the thought that you were a special person in my life.
- Is there a chance, Selena, for me to show you how much I have changed? Will you give me a second chance to keep you safe so I can be there for you every day?
I clench my eyelids, from under which tears flow. He pushes me away from him and with care pulls a strand of my hair back behind my ear.
- No, because I am afraid that I will suffer again because of you.
- And aren't you suffering, pushing me away from you? You claim that I am a special person in your life, that you can't love anyone else, and you miss me. And you would rather not give me a chance to show you how much I have changed and that I can make you happy this time?
- I'm scared, Felix, I'm so scared. I think I need time. You have to let me think it all through. I require time... - I say, moving away from him as I spot a bus stop on the horizon. I look over my shoulder, noticing that the man is standing still, disappointed. I bite my lip and speed up my step, almost running to get away from him as quickly as possible.
I'm scared, it's all happening too fast. I think Felix is still living in another world....
*
I love attending races, especially when my friend is the biggest star. Mike and I cheer her on with all our might, enjoying every victory.
This is also the case this time. Eve is the first to reach the finish line. She proudly pulls off her helmet and tosses her blonde hair as everyone shouts her name.
Mike runs up and kisses her in front of everyone, boasting that he is the girl's guy. The shouts get even louder.
Standing to the side with my arms crossed on my chest, I smile at the sight of them.
- People, we have a new star! Who wants to race against him? - Everyone's attention, including mine, is caught by the race organizer, who stands at the side of a man with his face covered by a helmet. - This is a good friend of mine, whom I invited here, hearing the news that he will stay in Los Angeles for a while.
A top competitor, who even my friend can't beat, steps forward. Confident, he raises his hand in the air, eager to take on the challenge.
- Great, Jake! - A friend of the organizer, whispers something in his ear. - That's exactly right! There is something that will make this race more interesting. Choose companions who like adrenaline!
The stranger points his finger at me, but I think it's an illusion. Probably he has someone else in mind, but as I look around, I realize that in this place I am standing all alone.
- That me? - I point my finger at myself, being surprised.
- A beautiful girl with her hair tied in a ponytail and red lips, welcome! - shouts the organizer, and I tentatively approach them. I see that my friends are overjoyed that I have been decided.
Jake has a blonde girl next to him, and I position myself uncertainly next to my organizer friend, feeling embarrassed.
- It's going to be a fascinating race, I can feel it in my bones! - shouts the man.
I sit down on the motorcycle, uncertainly embracing the stranger at the waist. My cheeks turn red with embarrassment as he touches my hands and makes me squeeze him tighter.
- Why did you choose me? - I ask.
A girl appears at the starting line to start the race.
- Because I know you love danger, Selena," he finally speaks, and the blood drains from my face. I would have let him go and run away where the fuck he grows, but I squeeze him tighter around the waist, because just as the race is about to start, he takes off with a squeal of tires.
Despite the speed and sharp turns, his driving is extremely smooth. He blocks his opponent every time, not intending to let him pass forward. Until now, I thought there was no better rider than Jake, but as you can see, the mysterious and dangerous Hero has a wonderful talent.
Eventually, he crosses the finish line, and my legs shake as I get off the motorcycle. Hitherto undefeated, Jake, jumps up to Hero, feeling offended that he lost the race for the first time in his life.
- You cheated, you jerk! - he shouts, tugging at his jacket.
- Hands off, my friend. You have to know how to lose," he replies. The event organizer separates them, and Hero pulls the helmet off his head. With his hand, he combs through the black, unruly strands that come out of his ponytail.
Jake blusters under his breath, not knowing who he is threatening. The New Yorker clearly doesn't give a damn, as he focuses solely on me.
- Did you enjoy it, Selena? Do you feel excited? - he asks.
I look at him with wide-open eyes as I recall our last connection.
Did he show up in Los Angeles to punish me for not keeping my word? Does he already know that I recently met with Felix?
- Why are you here? - My voice trembles.
- Because you do not listen to me, naughty girl," he replies, touching my chin with his fingers. - And naughty girls need to be punished...
I'm getting weak from nerves. I am beginning to worry that I am actually in danger from him.
- After all, I have no contact with Felix, if that's what you mean....
- Liar I hate even more," he claims, swiping my face with his eyes. - I know you saw Felix, you even hugged him.
It wasn't an illusion. Someone was actually following me that day, and it wasn't Felix.