Chapter 26: Fang Yuan Vs Wang Da
Sigma Analysis
The treehouse smelled like old McDonald's fries left in a Discord mod's basement—musty, greasy, and vaguely concerning. Fang Yuan's brain was moving at the speed of a Sigma male calculating tax evasion strategies as he analyzed the situation:
"Okay, so Wang Da's out here with Rank two middle-stage cultivation, 50% primeval juice, and probably some crusty demonic Gu worms? And he's malding over his whole bloodline getting clapped? Bro really said 'villain arc ACTIVATE' like this is some low-budget anime."
His eyes glowed red like a Discord light mode user at 3 AM, scanning the crude drawing of his own face—now with a free dagger piercing through the forehead (artistic AND threatening, what a combo).
"GYATT damn, bro really took 'stick and poke' tattoos too literally."
Outside, the forest was quieter than a Twitch chat when the streamer accidentally shows their search history. Then... SUS MOVEMENT.
Wang Da slithered through the shadows like a rejected Among Us imposter, his Shadow Follower Gu giving him that "I live in my mom's basement" stealth rizz. His hands had morphed into CRUSTY DEMON CLAWS, the nails painted Grimace Shake purple like he lost a bet to a My Little Pony fan.
"Fang Yuan…" Wang Da hissed, voice crackling like a McDonald's ice cream machine. "You took my whole family. Now I'm taking your LIFE! no cap, no glazing, straight fax."
Ahh Fight
First victim: A Gu Master chilling in the bushes, scrolling through imaginary TikTok like "Why am I here? Just to suffer?"
SCHLICK!
Wang Da's poison nails stabbed into the man's heart faster than a Sigma male unfriending someone who posts cringe. The Gu Master's eyes widened like he just saw Ohio's latest legislation before collapsing—BIG L.
"10% primeval used… 40% left," Wang Da whispered, already fading back into the shadows like a Discord mod after getting ratioed.
Meanwhile, Fang Yuan was in the treehouse, plotting his escape like:
"Fight a Rank two demonic Gu Master with my current setup? Nah, that's some Ohio behavior. Time to channel my inner Baby Gronk and RUN."
His mental GPS lit up with possible routes:
❌ Boar hotspots (Wang Da definitely camping those like a Fortnite noob)
✅ Reverse psychology path (giving "I'm not here" rizz)
Just as he moved to dip—BOOM!
The wall EXPLODED.
"FANG YUAN!" Wang Da screeched, bursting in like Kool-Aid Man if he chugged a gallon of Monster Energy. His eyes glowed with the intensity of a Sigma male who just discovered Andrew Tate.
Fang Yuan sighed. "Bro really woke up and chose VIOLENCE. Can't even have a peaceful escape arc in this economy."
Wang Da launched himself like a Sigma male who just saw free WiFi, his demon claws outstretched like a Discord mod reaching for his last chicken nugget.
"DIE, FANG YUAN!" he screeched, voice cracking like a Minecraft YouTuber hitting puberty.
WHOOSH!
Three moonblades materialized out of nowhere like a Twitch mod's ban hammer, intercepting his sigma grindset mid-air. Wang Da twisted like a cringe TikTok dance, dodging two...
SLASH!
The third moonblade sliced his leg open like a Gordon Ramsay steak critique.
"SKIBIDI!!!" Wang Da crashed to the ground, clutching his leg. Blood oozed like Grimace Shake syrup. "Since when was there a FOURTH Gu Master hiding?!"
Just as Wang Da activated his Shadow Follower Gu (giving "I live in my mom's basement" stealth rizz), a wrinkled voice echoed:
"Flash Blink Gu… EXPLODE."
BOOM!
The forest lit up brighter than a Discord light mode user's screen. Wang Da's shadow form melted like a McDonald's ice cream cone in July.
"NOOOO MY SIGMA STEALTH!" he wailed, forced back into his crusty human form.
Gu Yue Sou emerged, looking like a Walmart-brand Dumbledore. "Surrender, lad. My clan might spare you."
Wang Da spat like a malding League of Legends player. "Spare me? I'll clap YOU first!"
Gu Yue Sou's (that 4th Gu master who Wang Da did not see) hair suddenly YEETED outward, forming spiky white armor like a Sigma male's emotional walls.
Wang Da hesitated, his Love Life Separation poison nails twitching. "How am I supposed to edge this old man?!"
Then.... SKIBIDI PLAN ACTIVATED!!!
"Fine! If I can't kill HIM, I'll kill FANG YUAN!" Wang Da pivoted like a Twitch streamer avoiding bans.
Just as Wang Da lunged at Fang Yuan (who was doing his best "helpless NPC" impression), a FIFTH Gu Master materialized like a glitch.
"Jade Wind Wheel! ROCK ARMS GO BRRR!"
The man's arms ballooned into boulders, then SPUN like a Sigma male's grindset.
WHAM!
Wang Da got yeeted harder than a noob in Fortnite. He crashed, coughing up blood like a broken ketchup packet.
"5% primeval left… I'm COOKED," he wheezed. Then... SIGMA RAGE ACTIVATED.
"IF I DIE, YOU DIE TOO!" He launched a final, desperate charge at…
PLOT TWIST❓😱❓😱❓😱
FANG ZHENG, glowing like a Walmart nightlight with his Jade Skin Gu, stood confused.
"Who dis?" he thought, as Wang Da's poison nails SCHLICKED into his chest—
BUT ONLY 1 CM DEEP!
Gu Yue Sou's hair needles IMPALED Wang Da from behind like a vengeful Twitch mod. Blood erupted like a broken Capri Sun.
WANG DA'S DEMONIC REGRET ARC 💔😭
As Wang Da died, his life flashed before his eyes:
Memory: Him stabbing his wife Wan Er for her heart to refine his Gu.
Wife: "I understand." (Still loving him?? CRINGE.)
Wang Da: "If I could restart… I'd do it AGAIN." (Sigma or psycho? YOU DECIDE.)
Tears dripped like Ohio's rainfall as he collapsed, his final thought:
"No rizz… only regret…"
Meanwhile, Fang Zheng wobbled, poisoned. "Why… me…?" THUD.