Five people are sitting in a coffee shop, discussing Monica's would-be date.
"There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!" Monica said defensively.
"Nothing to tell? That's impossible if you're going out with him," Gabe replied.
"Gabe's right, you're going out with the guy! There must be something wrong with him!" Joey added.
"So, does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?" Chandler asked.
"Huh? What does that even mean?" Gabe asked Chandler, when they were suddenly interrupted by Phoebe, who said,
"Wait, does he eat chalk?" As everyone stared at Phoebe, confused, she added, "Just 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl-oh!"
"Relax, it's not a date. It's just two co-workers going to dinner, no sex involved," Monica finalized.
"Ewww, I didn't need to hear that," Gabe said to Monica, who just rolled her eyes and smiled.
"Is it just me, or does that sound like a date?" Chandler asked the group, looking around.
"It is, just a very boring one," Joey answered Chandler.
A moment later, the topic shifted.
"Have you ever had a dream where you're back in your high school cafeteria, naked?" Chandler asked the group.
"Yes," they all answered.
"Then, you suddenly realize that instead of what you're supposed to have, it's gone and replaced by a phone?"
"No, I never lose my 'thing' in my dreams," Joey said.
"Yeah, me neither," Phoebe answered, even though she didn't have the 'thing' they were talking about.
"I have that dream too, but the 'thing' is there, just covered," Gabe said.
"Ewww, I didn't need to hear that, Gabe!" Monica said, echoing Gabe's earlier comment.
"Anyway, back to my story, there I was in the cafeteria, naked, and there was a phone there."
"There there?" Joey asked.
"Yes. So, after that, it suddenly rings, and when I picked it up, it was my mom, which is weird because she never calls me," Chandler finished his story.
"Sure, that's the weird part," Gabe said. As they were talking, Ross entered the coffee shop, looking depressed.
"Hi," Ross said.
"If this guy says hello, I'm gonna shoot myself," Joey said to the group.
"You okay, bro?" Gabe asked.
"Feeling any better?" Monica added.
"No, I feel like someone dragged my stomach out and tied it around my neck," Ross said.
"Cookie?" Chandler said sarcastically, as Ross sat between Joey and Phoebe.
"Carol moved out with her stuff. Want some coffee? I'll get you some," Monica said, standing up after explaining Ross's mood.
"Ooh, ooh, ooh!" Phoebe said, making plucking gestures in the air, attempting to 'cleanse his aura.'
"No, no, don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay? I'll be fine, really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy," Ross said.
"No, you don't," Gabe and Monica said simultaneously, as Monica handed him the coffee.
"No, I don't. The hell with her, she left me," Ross immediately said.
"And you never knew she was a lesbian," Joey mentioned, making fun of Ross.
"No, she didn't know. How should I have known?" Ross asked angrily.
"You know, Ross, this will pass. Divorce isn't the end of the world," Gabe said.
"Yeah, you know, it just hurts now. But the way to forget her is a strip club. Get those hormones flowing," Joey said, wanting to go to a strip club with his friends.
"Maybe that would be a suitable option, since you're single now," Gabe said to Ross, supporting Joey's suggestion.
"Well, I don't want to be single. I just want to be married again."
Suddenly, someone walked into the coffee shop in a wedding dress.
"And I just want a million dollars!" Chandler said, extending his hand hopefully toward the door.
"Rachel?" Monica asked, recognizing the woman.
"Oh God, Monica, hi! I went to your building, and you weren't there, and this guy with a big hammer said you might be here, and you are!" Rachel confirmed.
"She'll have a decaf," Monica said to the waitress at the counter, then turned to the group.
"Okay, everyone. This is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor."
"This is everyone. This is Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey, and—you remember Gabe, my little brother?"
"Oh yeah, I remember Gabe. Wow, you look so grown up," Rachel said to Gabe.
"Well, time will do that to anyone, hahahah," Gabe joked, but no one laughed.
"Also, Ross, my brother," Monica pointed at Ross.
"Hi," Rachel said to Ross.
"Hi," Ross greeted back, standing up to hug Rachel, but his umbrella suddenly opened.
Rachel sat on the sofa, where everyone looked at her, waiting for an explanation for the wedding dress.
"So, you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?" Monica asked.
"Oh God... well, it started about half an hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This gorgeous LaMauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden—(TO WAITRESS, WHO HAS BROUGHT HER COFFEE) Sweet'n Low?—I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, he always looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering, 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'" Rachel explained, looking at Monica.
"So anyway, I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city," Rachel said to Monica.
"Who wasn't invited to the wedding?" Monica countered.
"Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue..."